I eat out frequently and sit in rather close proximity enough to other diners to occasionally pick up bits and pieces of their conversations. I may or may not be eavesdropping, but
more or less I overhear things because, you, inappropriate diner are just that... inappropriate, and...loud. So, Sunday morning we're sitting at Doughboys (not a good place for kids at all), enjoying a great cup of coffee in those cool Doughboys
mugs (that I want to jack) and I see this moron dart across 3rd Street in and out of traffic holding what appears to be about a four year old girl. "Idiot," I say to nobody because my husband was on a business call. I watch as said "idiot" walks
up to the host at Doughboys and gets seated at the vacant table conveniently located right next to us. At first I think she looks like Sandra Bullock, but quickly change my mind. It was the Ray-Bans, it was the Ray-Bans. She and the girl
sit down and she immediately starts reading the entire menu to the four year old. I'm telling you, the kid could care less about steel-cut oatmeal or homemade muesli. Anyway, Mom orders totally disregarding the kid's preference and engages in the
Mom: So Olivia, Do you think we should look for a new Daddy since the old one just got remarried?
Olivia: I don't know Mommy. I like the old one.
Mom: Well, maybe Mommy needs to cut her hair to find a new Daddy.
Can we have four new daddies?
Mom: Maybe we can find a bald daddy.
Mom: Olivia, When we go to New York we are going to see Wicked. Do you remember Wicked? It's the play with the witches?
Olivia: Oh I think I remember.
here. Let me play the entire sountrack for you on my iphone. You can sing along with it.
Olivia: In the restaurant?
Mom: Yes we're outside.
Really? She's blasting Idina Menzel and Kristin Chenoweth while I'm trying to eat smoked salmon? What's next, Frozen?
Where is our food?
coming. What did you do at daddy's house? You are so lucky that you get to live with me all of the time.
I'm not eating that. I hate that.
You love this. Look I got you pancakes too.
I hate that and I hate pancakes.(starts to hysterically cry and scream)
I hate both of you.
We're getting the Red Velvet cake to go. I am done listening to this.